A New Chapter

I am now licensed to practice therapeutic massage in Ohio. I have turned down three jobs in two weeks, and I have two interviews this week. I could never have foreseen such a complete overhaul in my life. The progression of events has solidified my faith in God and the idea that nothing will fall into place until it’s the right time. Thanks to my previous employer, I’ve had a month and a half of paid time to look for new jobs in a completely different industry. After four long years, God handed this one to me on a platter.

Corporate America beat me down. Though I have the appropriate degree and management experience, I had been pegged at a certain level, with a certain monetary limit to what I was worth, and it wasn’t generous. I applied for jobs for years. Nothing. I tried playing the game. Nothing I mean what does a resume really say about a person? It certainly doesn’t convey innovation, intuition, loyalty in the truest sense, or other such intangible qualities. And it is these qualities I possess in abundant amounts. So screw THEM. A month and a half into my unemployment, my confidence has soared. At 18, the world was at my fingertips. At 22, I felt I had the skills to take on the business world. At 24 I felt I had nothing to offer, and at 26 I realize I have everything, but rarely will others appreciate my finer qualities. I am naturally a confident person, but I also internalize my surroundings. I understand why it is so important to surround yourself with supportive people. Working on MY goals with MY time has allowed me to reach a new state of mind. And the other day, I went to the thrift store and bought new pants… in my size. No more fitting into a job that is too small for me. I’m wearing big girl pants.

So many of us do a so-so job for so-so pay to afford a so-so life. But I’m so-so done with the so-called American Dream with the house and the constant state of one-upsmanship and resentment of others’ good fortune. At this stage in my life, Beatles songs seem to be seeping into my daily positive self-talk: “all you need is love.” “Just let it be, sis.” “All the lonely people, where do they all come from?” The last one usually pops up at the grocery store, but that’s another story.

My husband and I have been happier in the past month, with half our pay and no benefits, than we ever were in a manufactured stable “successful” life.